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A Journey Begun

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Hello, and welcome to Dealing With Dementia – A Son Caring For His Mom With Vascular Dementia.

If you follow me on my main blog, The Hillbilly Blogger, you are going to encounter a totally different style of writing here. If you’re new to this blog and you would like to visit my main blog, just click on the link above.

I created this blog for two reasons:

  1. As an emotional outlet. I find writing to be therapeutic, it helps to calm me most of the time. It also allows me to get out in writing what I can’t get out in speaking.
  2. As a guide for those new to being a caregiver to a parent. I have been taking care of mom now for four years, I have watched the slow but steady progression of Vascular Dementia basically take her away from me little by little, day by day. I hope to be a help to those that need it. Perhaps I will say something in my writing that will help someone make it through a hard day or maybe put a much needed smile on their face.

I do not claim to be an expert, nor do I expect any reader of this blog to take my advice or something I may say as a final solution. Always consult with a doctor or specialist if you feel there is a medical need.


My mom began showing signs of Vascular Dementia a couple of years before I moved back in with her. At the time, I thought it was Alzheimer’s and I didn’t even know such a thing as Vascular Dementia existed. It wasn’t until about a year after I moved in that I took her to a Neurologist and she determined what it was and explained it to me.

You may be wondering why I waited a year. Well, I simply thought it was nothing more than old age and the forgetfulness that comes along with it. It wasn’t until she almost overdosed on her morning medication that I realized there was something more going on. From that point until now I have watched this dreadful disease destroy my mom’s mind.

Vascular Dementia not only takes it’s toll on the person that has it, it takes an enormous toll on the caregiver as well. If a person isn’t willing to be 100% invested in the care of their parent, 100% willing to give up their own daily life, and 100% committed to their parent and their needs, then being a caregiver is definitely not something you should even contemplate.

In my case I have double duty with mom. Not only does she have Vascular Dementia, she also has several other health problems like severe Rheumatoid Arthritis and Vertigo. It became impossible for her to move about without the aid of a walker at first, she is now in a wheelchair because the arthritis in her knees is so bad and the Vertigo has gotten much worse.

I don’t want anyone that reads this blog to think that it’s a “complaint blog,” or a place for me to rant. It is a place for me to vent and let my emotions out. A place I can come to when the emotions I’m feeling are at their pressure point. I’m not looking for sympathy or pity, but understanding and compassion.

I may write some things that sound mean, hateful, or like I don’t care. Please know, that is not the case at all. I would never, ever be mean to mom, I would never knowingly hurt her feelings or do anything to her physically, and I will not allow anyone else to do so either.

Please keep in mind that I am merely a human being, I have several health issues as well that I have to deal with every day and night. Issues that, at times, tend to cause my patience to run short or my frustration to boil over. I’m definitely not a mean person, in fact, I usually wear my heart on my sleeve and would do anything I could for someone.

I have had things happen to me in my life that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, things that some people just wouldn’t understand and others would frown on. However, I’m not any different that anyone else, I know everybody has their own problems and has had things happen to them that I may not understand.

This blog is just a way for me to communicate my feelings and emotions in a way that I am unable to otherwise. I don’t feel that I will be “airing my dirty laundry” for everyone to read. There are things that I will never write about, things that I keep private and only I know.

As I said earlier, it is my hope that by reading my words someone out there will find hope in an otherwise desperate situation, an answer to something new that their parent has recently started doing or stopped doing or a smile during an otherwise dark day.

Above all, I thank you for taking the time to read these words, I only hope that I will be able write something worth that precious time.

 

3 Comments

  1. owningadogwithanxiety

    Tim, no part of this sounds like you’re complaining so don’t worry about that! I have many complimentary words for and about you, but the ones that really come through in this writing are CARING and BRAVE. Thank you for being honest and sharing. You and your Mom are in my prayers.

    Reply
  2. ladybug165

    Thank you for sharing! I to have a mom with Alzheimer’s disease and I have started a blog to help me deal with it ! It’s called Reflections of Love ! I just started it not to long ago. I hope I can help others who face this too !! It’s very hard to face but when you have others that are facing this it makes things a little easier ! I know you will be blessed for taking such good care of your mom . You can find my blog at http://www.alwaysamomcom.wordpress.com ! 😊

    Reply
    1. Tim (Post author)

      Thank you for reading and I’m sure I’m sure I’m not the only one that will be blessed. Writing about the troubles, trials, fears, disappointments, sorrows, and even the good times, definitely help. Not only is it an outlet, but to me, it is also a way to remember mom the way she used to be. I will be visiting your blog right now.

      Reply

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