When it comes to mom, I am several different people, depending on the time of day, her mood, or what state her mind is in at any given time. Following is a list of people she believes me to be at different times of the day, with a short description of how she perceives me.
Her Husband – Yes, most of the time she believes that I am her husband, my dad. There are times that, if I don’t pay a lot of attention to her, she gets mad at me and will ask me if I still love her or if I’m mad at her. The discussion then turns to her telling me that we’ve been together for so many years, we grew up together, etc. I know she can’t help it, but it makes me feel really weird when she does this.
Her Brother LG – This is the most common and frequent person she thinks I am. 90% of the time, when she calls to me, it is by using his name.
Her Brother JT – Other times, when I’m not LG, I’m JT or “T”, which is what she called him most of the time.
My Brother, Roger – It isn’t very often she thinks I’m Roger, but she does from time to time. This one is the hardest for me emotionally because he passed away suddenly this past May.
On occasion, when she is especially lucid, she actually knows who I am and will call me by my name.
When she first started forgetting me and/or thinking I’m someone else, it really hurt and bothered me. Also, I would be with her all day and her thinking I’m someone else when somebody would come in that she hadn’t seen in quite a while and she would immediately know them, now that really hurt.
Now, I’m used to it. I won’t lie though, sometimes it still hurts, especially if we’ve had a really bad day. It seems like lately, we’re having more bad days than good.
So, I’ll go on being whomever she wants or needs me to be, hurting or not.